Skip to main content

About Me

My photo
J.Q.
I like to make others laugh and smile. I enjoy myself. I have white skin.

Rediscovered old Jokes/quips I had written 12 years ago.


  1. Is it considered race-segregation to color coordinate mannequins in a mannequin factory? When is segregation okay?
  2. George Bush Sr. also shares a birthday with Anne Frank Weird that two people who spent a lot of time in an attic: one only literally of course
  3. The best weapon an adult has against a strange child is to make it cry: someone else always comes gets it
  4. I’m not racist, just allergic to certain colors.
  5. If you really want to freak out everybody in an elevator just walk into it and never turn around to face the elevator door. Just immediately face everyone with your back to the door then say, "Could someone let me know when it's go time?"
  6. I went through my father’s cell phone recently and saw the name ‘Justin’ and immediately under it saw the name ‘Justin Lewis’.  Curiosity took the best of me so I checked the numbers of each. I asked my father, “Why am I in your cell phone as Justin Lewis… who the hell is the other guy Justin? I should be just ‘Justin’.” It did not phase him. “I put his name in before yours so I had to put your full name in as to not get confused.” I was dumbfounded. “I should be the only just ‘Justin’. I’m your son. Why not just throw in my SSN too??!” He looked at me sternly. “I PUT HIS NAME IN FIRST THOUGH.” And that’s why I have the sense of humor I do.
  7. You know what pisses me off? Let me share. You’re walking behind someone,  a good 15 or 20 feet or so, both of you are walking into the same building. The person opens the door and holds it open for you. I mean, it’s a nice gesture, but now it’s all on me. Now I have to walk faster as to not look like a jerk. So unfair.
  8. Don’t you hate that experience of being next to a stranger in a public place and he or she is looking at you through the corner of his or her eye! How awkward and scary is that. Not only that! You’re doing the same thing in return. It is contagious. If a person is staring at me with the corner of their eye, I catch myself returning the favor. Now it’s a awkward looking-with-corner-of-the eye tango.
  9. Have you ever talked to a person who nodded his or her head as he or she spoke to you? What does that even mean? Why do it? I’m getting to a point where I cannot stand it. Is this person trying to give me this subliminal notion that whatever comes out of his or her mouth is correct no matter what?
  10. I bet it'd be really mean to pull up to a hitchhiker and ask for directions. "I saw you have a sign that says 'Atlanta' so could you possibly tell me how far it is from here and what's the best route to take? Hold on, wait, don’t tell me yet, let me find something to write on... Can I borrow your sharpie?"
11. Have you ever dodged a butterfly?


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Anx

Yesterday I posted on my venting blog about a past situation in which I talked about my former friend and the pure painful situation she caused her now ex-husband, his family, and the issues she caused all her friends because of her anxiety disorder, which showed itself by her being unable to communicate anything, making her feelings and situations a priority rather thinking of others, thinking of herself and her problems, and just being completely unaware that the issues people had/her husband had, were from situations she created herself and treated others like they were in the wrong for being upset with her. My older pastor friend read the long email she had sent her husband and read the emails she had sent all of us (she sent he and his wife one too), where she blamed us pretty much for being mean to her and not understanding her or what she was going through aka justifying why she was wrong was because of stress. He said, "I feel bad for her, we all should We should be pr...
Post a Comment
Read more

Article

https://www.chattanoogan.com/2019/8/1/393964/Cranfield-Rowell-SeaWorld-Dreams.aspx This isn't the best. I wrote this (and many others) a good while ago when a person, a female, had sparked my creativity by just being herself and spending time with her. Of course, she later hurt and misunderstood me, but she at least sparked my creative juices at the time, unbeknownst to her.
Post a Comment
Read more

Card

On Saturday I got a card in the mail. My uncle had written me sweet note. It was totally unexpected. It made me tear up. I have a huge family. My mother has six brothers and one sister, and a few foster siblings. My father has two brothers (one passed) and one sister. I have 21 first cousins. My mom and her siblings are all best friends. Only 2 of my first cousins are not within the 5 years of age as the rest of us. My uncle Fidel is the patriarch of the family. He's the oldest of the my grandmother's 8 children. He's former special forces and 2 time professional boxing champion. I'm the only son of either of his younger sisters. He and my mother are the closest of all the siblings. He was by my and my mother's side when I was struggling to live as a baby and a child. I got the letter. It made me cry. He's known I had autism since I was a kid. He's known I've struggled my whole life with my health. He knows my heart. He knows that I torture mysel...
Post a Comment
Read more